Ever Heard Kelly Clarkson's song Breakaway? "Grew up in a small town (Esperance WA - population 8,000)....Wanted to belong here but something felt so wrong here..." You get the point.
I always knew my purpose lay far beyond the simple pleasures of the coastal town I was raised in. Don't get me wrong - I loved living so close to the water & being surrounded by sport.
Raised by both a Squash & Tennis coach and Small Business owner, I was bred into the coaching & being my own boss lifestyle. I, myself was coaching Gymnasts from a young age (13). I was determined to help others live a healthy, fit & strong life.
To be completely honest I feel like I've lived 9 lives since those days. Let's start from the beginning shall we?...
In my early teens I threw myself into my gymnastics training and all that it entailed. Some nights I would fall asleep in the splits because I was so determined to achieve them. I would watch movies like Nadia Comineczi, & Stick It over and over again. I would get up in the wee hours of the morning to watch Monette Russo & other amazing gymnasts compete in the Olympics. I am sooo thankful for this sport as well as my tennis & netball commitments for, well, keeping me out of trouble and helping me channel my athletic tomboy nature into something positive.
Much like most teenage girls, I was super self-conscious and obsessed with my appearance. I was desperate to be accepted & loved. I thought that this meant conforming to an ideal. I started 'partying' at age 18 which meant nights out drinking, getting tarted up to chase boys etc. It always felt so foreign to me. I feel a large part of this is because I felt so good when I ate well, trained hard that feeling anything sub-par was a massive and obvious change to me. These partying days lasted just enough time for me to realise it was not at all what I wanted..
I've always been studious and self driven. I have studied EVERY year since finishing high school. I moved to the big smoke (Perth) to study fashion design & technology. I believed if I could master the perfect clothes & career I would be well - idolised or well, loveable.
What I discovered was that the clothes do not make the model, the model makes the clothes.
Being a natural size 6-8 meant being the 'model' for most of my classmates in the early years before being replaced by the paid models in my Advanced Diploma. All of a sudden I had comparison & a need to change.
Unfortunately that opened me up to the world of modelling. And what I mean by that was disordered eating patterns, self-loathing body parts, living on caffeine, diet pills and minimising, reducing and shrinking myself. We get out what we put out and we attract that which we accept....and so enters the Fuckboy stage. One particular Mummy's boy with tall poppy syndrome felt it his entitlement to critique any imperfection he deemed appropriate on my tiny body (poking at small rolls on my body & labelling them Fat). Bare in mind was still an athletic size 6 with large boobs & an unbroken heart. He would complain his legs couldn't grow and bring up his 'Crazy Ex Girlfriend' to make me feel inadequate. Needless to say that relationship didn't last long.
Once I realised there was no money in the Fashion Industry I decided to work for a mining company full time. I had been a Povo student for far too long. I did a good 1 year before my insatiable thirst for knowledge and dopamine got the better of me & I decided to study my Cert III and IV in Fitness part time. I had managed to channel any teenage/early 20's heart break into becoming healthier & fitter. This meant more nutrient dense foods & a better exercise regime. I started lifting weights alongside a crazy group fitness schedule. At this point I was not tracking macros/calories. I was also not focussing on progressively overload - just simply enjoying the feel good hormones that came along with getting sweaty. Shit, I even tried Vegan for a week after watching earthlings haha.
I was disciplined and routined and got maximum out of my day. I would study 4.30-6am then attend my morning Body Attack class at 6.30am (#cardiobunny). I would then shower and get ready at work to start my day at 8am. My work as a Maintenance Clerk was boring AF but I was effortlessly good at the administration for it & got along really well with the lads I worked with. I would routinely bake cakes (the real sugary fat version) every week for them and my (then) new boyfriend to try. I would spend my lunch times studying my Cert III and IV modules before attending night classes (3 x per week), hitting the gym for a second time (for the love of the endorphins) or catching up with my newly recruited PT after work....I may have secretly had a crush on him haha.
I was in a really happy place here. I was studying, training & in a loving relationship with zero food phobia or body dysmorphia - From there I started working as a PT in two studios, one corporate & one more Arnold-Style body building based. It was during these early months that I was told I would do really well on stage....competing....
IF you've come this far into my Bio I just want to say THANK YOU, but also...
If you are EVER told you would 'do well' (in your Natural some what healthy Physique) Modelling, Competing or in a Beauty show, yet are NOT currently tracking your calories or restricting food groups & DO NOT Display any disordered eating patterns or Negative Food Associations - BACK THE FUCK AWAY & RUN FOR COVER MF!! Calmly say thank you & go about your daily life enjoying the joy of movement loving eating healthy, nutrient dense food.
I learn a lot about myself during my competing days. I collected a number of trophies & shiny pretty things along with a sponsorship with a large supplement company. This meant being flown all over Australia to compete & represent the brand. Opportunities that had be rubbing shoulders with various influential people I admired. It was a fantastic experience!
I DO believe everyone needs to experience going without or some form or restriction or delayed gratification to truly appreciate life's Fun & Moderation to it's full extent. I think everyone should push the limits of their mental or physical strength at some point to build Character... However...the more we push one outlet of our life the more we let slip others....
The price I paid for 6 Pack Abs, Veins popping & Ego driven self satisfaction standing on stage to entertain strangers far outweighed the benefits.......Loss of relationships, Amenorrhea, Depression, Disordered Eating Patterns, Body Dysmorphia, Loss of Emotional Intelligence just to name a few.
It has become my life's work to not only have the knowledge to understand the body in all facets of health; on a mental, physical and emotional level, but also to influence others to embrace a healthier lifestyle avoiding unnecessary pain or lifestyle related disease. This is why I went on to study my BSC in Health Science Nutrition as well as Massage, Human Behaviour, Myofascial Slings/release, Sports Science & Exercise Physiology & more......
I want clients to feel Strong & to use exercise as a catalyst for positive change & self discovery. To become educated in Nutrition so that they are never fooled into Yo-Yo dieting protocols or exercises that do more harm then good.
To bring the Gap between what is popular & what is right. To be the change I believe we need. To align Health with Fitness. The is a massive Gap between what The Fitness Industry can Sell & is easily marketed Vs what works and what will benefit people most. I think Nutrition itself should be taught in schools - not trigonometry!!
When you're ready to experience Coaching through Education - I'm here for you!! :)
